Wednesday, August 29, 2007

How To Set Up a MFM Threesome

Ken of Dirty Couple in VA asked me how to set up an MFM trio for his wife, the fabulously filthy Jen (another in a long list of bloggers I'd do).

Whew, that's EASY!

First of all, Ken, read this piece of advice.

Be clear about who this is for. Yes, you're going to enjoy it, too, but it's all about pleasing her. Check your ego at the door, and prepare for the wildest E-ticket ride of your life.

Second, establish your comfort level.

What is it YOU want to have happen? Most guys haven't thought much beyond "I want somebody to fuck my wife." Sounds easy, right? Well, will you be comfortable if she comes? A lot? Will you be OK if she fucks him more than one time? If he's any good, they're likely going to extend beyond one shot. It's exciting for him because she's new, and exciting for her because it's forbidden. Are you OK with her sucking his cock? Him coming on her face/tits/belly/ass? Can you get it up (and more importantly, keep it up) taking turns with him? After all, if she's really turned on, she's going to want to fuck you, too.

Third, make sure you have the right man for the job.

Are you going to use someone you (or both of you) know? Personally, I think nothing ruins a good friendship faster than sex. Unless you two are ready for big time polyamory, if you let a friend sleep with your wife once, how do you tell him "sorry, Palmer, but that was a one-off"? My advice is to use the services of a certified stranger. A what? A man who has experience doing this very sort of thing. Certified because swinger sites often have systems for rating people. You don't want just anyone handling her right? You wouldn't let somebody you didn't know drive your favorite sports car, so why would you let him take a spin in the bedroom with that throaty purr under the sheets you call your wife?

Finding someone qualified to do the job isn't as easy as it sounds, either. You'd be surprised how many guys will say they can't wait to bed her down, then chicken out or not show up after you've shelled out money for a hotel room. We've been stood-up, everyone has, it's why the single male is usually responsible for booking and paying for the hotel. Some couples will chip in half, but that's not expected; by the same token, make sure you and the other guy have discussed a price range ahead of time so you don't spring anything on him that could wilt his weenie. To insure that nothing went wrong on the "big night," when I planned C.'s anniversary present, I actually interviewed the candidates weeks in advance. And I only considered men who had experience with trios. You don't want him learning on your wife. Remember the sports car analogy-- are you ready to replace the clutch on that classic Porsche roadster because some beginner couldn't shift properly? Better to go with established swingers who are comfortable in a situation like this. Surprisingly there are men who enjoy being with a couple because it's hot sex, they like performing, and there are NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

Fourth, what is it that she will be comfortable with?

Is there a particular physical type or age or race? Unless she's specifically told you "I want a guy with a foot-long dick," cock size is overrated and isn't something you should even worry about. A guy with average endowments who can perform in a group is preferable to some "stud" who doesn't know how to please a lady. And if he turns out to be TOO big, well, do I have to connect the dots?

Because you're looking for a guy to please HER, not himself.

Fifth, establish your ground rules.

Are you comfortable with him kissing her? C. can't get into sex without kissing (when one of us is sick with a cold, a palpable tension creeps into our day-to-day interaction until we're able to resume kissing). Will you get hard or angry if she sucks his cock? We insist on safe sex, but there are couples who like the thrill of danger. He'll likely ask you if anything is off limits (anal, coming on her face, etc.). This is a good time to check back with #2 and ask yourself if you'll be comfortable with her having a shuddering orgasm while fucking him?

Fifth, choose the setting.

Do you want a stranger coming to your house? Likely not. You don't even want to use your real names. Book a hotel. If babysitters are a problem, you can play in the day while kids are in school. Most hotels have "day room rates" that are half to 2/3 their overnight price, as long as you're out by 6. Expect some smirking from the desk clerk, but realize that YOU'LL NEVER SEE THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN. Don't scrimp on quality, either. You don't need four-star luxury, but check the place out ahead to make sure it doesn't smell like stale beer or have one of those in-room air conditioners that rattles like a loose rivet in a washing machine. I ask the hotel staff to let me check out a room, saying I have relatives or business associates coming to town and I want to recommend a nice place.

Finally, give her an out if she doesn't want to.

Spring it on her enough in advance so she can back out. You two might have fantasized about this endlessly, in and out of the bedroom, yet maybe she's been playing along in bed in YOUR fantasy just to make you happy. Some of the things C. and I are doing involve scenarios I find hot (she just wants to get off). Unless Jen is fully on-board with the idea, she might go white at the thought of fucking a stranger. Some people never reach the point of making the leap from an imaginary lover to a real person. Be gracious if she turns down your wonderful gift. Unless she's a total bitch-loser, she'll have to see all the work you did as a real profession of your love. And take "no" with good humor. You'll likely get the fuck of your life later for the thoughtful gesture.

by Tom Paine

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Sugasm #94

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #95? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week’s Picks
Fisted, first.
“And it was lovely, because the movements made by his fist inside me were so different to a cock.”

The Razor, the Tape and the Man
“He’s never known this lack of control, this unstoppable surge of orgasm, this wave of ecstasy soldiers crossing his territory.”

Sex Work And Religion: Monotone Man
“Religion comes up during calls more than I anticipated when I started doing sex work.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Masterlock Street Cuffs

Editor’s Choice
Watching my girl’s caning

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Butch/Femme, Spanking and Team Gina, Oh My!
“If you jump into bed on a first date, it’s already over” and other Myths
Or, When Fantasy Ruins Your Love Life
Sex in the possibly public square
The Storm Cone
When trust faltered…

Sex News & Reviews
Sex Blogger Cocktail Party In Toronto
Sex Toy Review: njoy Butt Plug
Wet vs. dry rub

BDSM & Fetish
The Blindfold
Dinner Party
Happy HNT - Subspace bondage
I’m Not Ready To Play Nice….
New Store!!! New Videos!!! New Look!!!
Posting tipsy
Social Kink Interviews Steve Diet Goedde
Trashy kisses
Weekend With CD Part I (Figging LFM)

Sex Poetry
Beauty mark

NSFW Pics & Videos
Catalina loves To Take Pictures
Gabriella (Gallery Carre)
Jessica Beil Topless
A Reflective Half-Nekkid Thursday
Sandra Shine Nude
Valentina is a goldpiece
WebMistress Feature Gallery: Sultry Striptease

Sex & Politics
We Support the Human Rights Campaign

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Bubble Bath
Cadillac Confessions Vol. 1
Caught Between A Rock And A Hard On! - Part 1
Every Six Seconds…#2
No reservations, part 2
Our holiday - part one
Sex from the Rooftops
Speaking of Porn Stars….
Sunshine On Naked Skin
That Makes Two
Wanking this weekend?
Warm Wet Velvet
We sleeping wake, and waking sleep

Friday, August 24, 2007

The Brick Wall Statement

The Brick Wall Statement. What the hell does that mean? What was it?

"I want to quit, because I feel like you can't handle it."

That went over well. He hated it when I said that. Thought I was behaving in a condescending manner to him. I didn't mean we were never going to play again, but I wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do. We definitely had some talking to do, before anything was decided or anything happened. Every time we did there seemed to be emotional storms, and they seemed to be directed at me. It was so much easier for me, than it was for him. He expected that it should be easy for him to have sex with women at a sex club. Everything else in his life was easy. It wasn't. I think that part were the unrealistic expectations of the scene. Part of it was natural quietness- it wasn't easy for him to approach women and flirt.

Why did I feel this way?

Initially, we started playing under difficult circumstances. (Rough Beginnings) There were subtle problems between us that I felt it wasn't the right time that hadn't been discussed yet. I felt that he needed to me to play with others to feel desire for me. He always claimed that wasn't true, but still I wondered. Once we began, he was incredibly worried about our relationship and jealousy. He thought I was going to do something and not tell him about it. He worried about somebody else pleasing me more. So the first year or so was full of issues about the relationship- from his point of view.

We started with a very specific goal. The very idea of him watching me get fucked by another man turned him on. He wanted that and nothing else. Yet that changed. We had to find balance in our relationship. How would we adjust now that I've had this experience and he hadn't? I knew that it was all about sex, and I loved him- deeply so in the end it didn't matter to me. Yet the confusing path and goals was difficult to adjust to. At times, I felt as if I'd been tricked. I was worried that he would be hurt by other women- in any number of ways. He is my life, and I don't want him hurt. It happened. He didn't like even the simple rejection of not all women wanting to dance with him. He focused on the negative and never saw the positive interactions.

So there were what I started calling, "tantrums," and he called "frustration." Yet it was often directed at me. To me, it was similar and related to the emotional storms that were related to jealousy and fear. He claims they were far more minor and that he would learn to solve this problem. Yet every time he had another one- he laid another layer of "bricks" down in my feelings that this was not the right thing for us to be doing as a couple. "The Brick Wall Statement." A feeling that would take more time to break down.

by NightStar

Friday, August 17, 2007

When trust faltered…

So where did it all really between with us? I am not really sure. Before the actuality there were many discussions. He signed up with an online service for meeting people. It was initially done without my knowledge, but then we discussed it. I did not want a stranger. He wanted this so much that he proposed a friend that he knew I liked. My friend was single and not dating anyone.

So I started to flirt with him. Eventually meeting him in a parking lot late at night. We kissed and my husband wanted to know what was going on between us. Perhaps in time he would have said yes, but initially he said no. What happened to him really doesn't matter. My husband started the roller coaster of jealousy and worry. He wasn't really prepared to wait for me to seduce my friend into a threesome. Which I think was a possibility. He was afraid I might have an affair with him. I didn't. He always knew when I saw him. He didn't understand my friendship with him, and yes it became much deeper… I told him everything.

His trust in me started to falter. One night he was legitimately looking for something on my computer and started to look in my email. He found my emotions and truth to a friend from months before. Things he didn't understand, but that were explained in time. It was the lack of trust that was the hardest. We both had to heal from that as well. To keep minor and small details open to each other. We spent hours talking. Always.

If you can't handle talking for hours and the unexpected roller coaster of getting what you ask for and more… Be careful.

By Nightstar

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


by Polly Amorie

He turned his head and looked at her over his shoulder, as he closed the refrigerator door. Her wrists were bound by leather cuffs, and attached by chains to a steel bar suspended from the ceiling. She looked him straight in the eye as she grasped the bar, and swung her body gently back and forth, her toes not moving from their spot.

"What are you doing? What do you have in store for me?"

His face suddenly altered from its usual sweet and cheery smile to a darkly mischievous evil grin -- his eyebrows drawing closer together; his dark eyes flashing. Ostentatiously he placed his hand behind his back, discernibly concealing something in his hand.

"Stand still. And spread those legs. I have a surprise for you."

Obediently she stopped swinging, and planted her feet firmly on the floor, apart. Her cunt was a little tender, and throbbed incessantly from much previous fucking that day, but she still felt it awaken with desire and anticipation once again at the thought of him.

He wheeled towards her, not taking his eyes from hers, until she was straddled across him, but not touching him. One hand behind his back, he ran an insolent finger up her inner thigh, and watched her visibly shudder with excitement.

"Gonna make that pussy wet again. Dripping wet. Literally."

She moaned softly, and then sighed with joy when he revealed the contents of his hidden hand to her. A hand-crafted glass dildo. Cold from the refrigerator. Their eyes locked again.

"You want this, you dirty little girl?"

"Yes. Please."

"Tell me what you want."

"I want you to fuck me. With that. Make me gush... again."

"Dirty girl. Nasty little slut."

"Your nasty little slut."

"Yes. You. Are!"

On his last syllable, he slid the dildo straight into her cunt, and she couldn't help but gasp at the deliciously cold hard feeling. He held it in place for a second, until he felt her relax around it, and then, steadying himself by spanking his palm down on her ass and holding her still, he thrust it into her, hard. He hit her g-spot square on and began a steady rhythm, fucking her with the dildo, and feeling her grind onto it.

"Hold it in there for a moment."

She clenched her pussy muscles tightly around the glass, thanking heaven for her nightly Kegels ritual exercises. He wheeled around to the back of her, and reached between her already slippery thighs to continue his pumping rhythm while he simultaneously tickled her clit. He did this oh-so-softly, but it was still enough to cause her moans to rise several decibels.

"Oh my god. Oh my god! OH MY GOD!!"

She felt her orgasm grow closer and closer.

"You love it, don't you? You. Love. When. I. Fuck. Your. Hungry. Wet. Pussy."

Each burst of speech indicated a further and deeper thrust of the dildo. With a wail of abandon, she came. She shuddered and gasped as the orgasms faded, and then rose again to a further crescendo as he ruthlessly continued to pump and thrust the dildo onto her g-spot and she came again, gushing like a fountain and raining come all over his hand, and the floor.

"Oh. My. God. (pant, pant) That was amazing. Fuck. (pant, pant, pant). Nobody does that like you do, baby. Nobody fucks me like you do. And nobody ever makes me come like you do."

His evil grin intensified.

"Just wait until later tonight. We can test that claim, when my friend comes over."

"Your (pant, pant) friend?"

"Yes. The one who you're going to fuck. On my command."

to be continued...

Intensity and Submission

My first post was called "Rough Beginnings" and la fille mariée said... "It sounds like an agonizing beginning, certainly. Did the feeling of "giving in" add to the experience for you, or take away?" It is where I want to start this post.

For the sake of the story let's call him John. I don't know if it was finally giving in to what I had desired for a long time and knew there were reasons that it was wrong at the time or John but the behavior that night between us set the tone of the relationship for the future. It also eventually led to the end between us. After that night we saw him together as a threesome several times, and it got better each time. I saw him alone a few times as well. For a long time there was nobody else as we worked through the emotions that first night and all that followed. But we couldn't stay away from him.

That first night I went to him- as much as I could. He responded to me, but then he would turn me away and push me back to my husband. He would hold me there in his arms. When you are with the man you love and desire another man sexually there is a lot of internal guilt. What do you do and who to you go to physically? John solved that problem because he instinctly knew that the couple came first and he was going to respect that as much as he could. Or perhaps he was just afraid of ending the night too early to meet his own needs if he didn't!

At the time, I relished the sense of control that he exerted both physically and mentally. I had fought hard, but at this time I was giving up, and I was going to enjoy what we were doing. I fully anticipated that there would be problems afterwards based on the past, but I no longer cared. It was intense. I was submitting, but more I had the sense that he could truly dominate me and take control when he was more comfortable with both of us.

So began the future. John wanted a slut. Someone that he could push the limits on. I loved what he could teach me and the challenges. I initially called him "Master" as a joke. Then he wanted to demand it, but I gave it out of pleasure. My husband wanted to see me with someone else. If he had listened John would have known how to control me. He didn't really, he was selfish and only wanted me to please him. He forgot that I needed pleasure too. As my husband and I solved more problems I found my own strength again.

by NightStar