Wednesday, August 29, 2007

How To Set Up a MFM Threesome


Ken of Dirty Couple in VA asked me how to set up an MFM trio for his wife, the fabulously filthy Jen (another in a long list of bloggers I'd do).

Whew, that's EASY!

First of all, Ken, read this piece of advice.

Be clear about who this is for. Yes, you're going to enjoy it, too, but it's all about pleasing her. Check your ego at the door, and prepare for the wildest E-ticket ride of your life.

Second, establish your comfort level.

What is it YOU want to have happen? Most guys haven't thought much beyond "I want somebody to fuck my wife." Sounds easy, right? Well, will you be comfortable if she comes? A lot? Will you be OK if she fucks him more than one time? If he's any good, they're likely going to extend beyond one shot. It's exciting for him because she's new, and exciting for her because it's forbidden. Are you OK with her sucking his cock? Him coming on her face/tits/belly/ass? Can you get it up (and more importantly, keep it up) taking turns with him? After all, if she's really turned on, she's going to want to fuck you, too.

Third, make sure you have the right man for the job.

Are you going to use someone you (or both of you) know? Personally, I think nothing ruins a good friendship faster than sex. Unless you two are ready for big time polyamory, if you let a friend sleep with your wife once, how do you tell him "sorry, Palmer, but that was a one-off"? My advice is to use the services of a certified stranger. A what? A man who has experience doing this very sort of thing. Certified because swinger sites often have systems for rating people. You don't want just anyone handling her right? You wouldn't let somebody you didn't know drive your favorite sports car, so why would you let him take a spin in the bedroom with that throaty purr under the sheets you call your wife?

Finding someone qualified to do the job isn't as easy as it sounds, either. You'd be surprised how many guys will say they can't wait to bed her down, then chicken out or not show up after you've shelled out money for a hotel room. We've been stood-up, everyone has, it's why the single male is usually responsible for booking and paying for the hotel. Some couples will chip in half, but that's not expected; by the same token, make sure you and the other guy have discussed a price range ahead of time so you don't spring anything on him that could wilt his weenie. To insure that nothing went wrong on the "big night," when I planned C.'s anniversary present, I actually interviewed the candidates weeks in advance. And I only considered men who had experience with trios. You don't want him learning on your wife. Remember the sports car analogy-- are you ready to replace the clutch on that classic Porsche roadster because some beginner couldn't shift properly? Better to go with established swingers who are comfortable in a situation like this. Surprisingly there are men who enjoy being with a couple because it's hot sex, they like performing, and there are NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

Fourth, what is it that she will be comfortable with?

Is there a particular physical type or age or race? Unless she's specifically told you "I want a guy with a foot-long dick," cock size is overrated and isn't something you should even worry about. A guy with average endowments who can perform in a group is preferable to some "stud" who doesn't know how to please a lady. And if he turns out to be TOO big, well, do I have to connect the dots?

Because you're looking for a guy to please HER, not himself.

Fifth, establish your ground rules.

Are you comfortable with him kissing her? C. can't get into sex without kissing (when one of us is sick with a cold, a palpable tension creeps into our day-to-day interaction until we're able to resume kissing). Will you get hard or angry if she sucks his cock? We insist on safe sex, but there are couples who like the thrill of danger. He'll likely ask you if anything is off limits (anal, coming on her face, etc.). This is a good time to check back with #2 and ask yourself if you'll be comfortable with her having a shuddering orgasm while fucking him?

Fifth, choose the setting.

Do you want a stranger coming to your house? Likely not. You don't even want to use your real names. Book a hotel. If babysitters are a problem, you can play in the day while kids are in school. Most hotels have "day room rates" that are half to 2/3 their overnight price, as long as you're out by 6. Expect some smirking from the desk clerk, but realize that YOU'LL NEVER SEE THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN. Don't scrimp on quality, either. You don't need four-star luxury, but check the place out ahead to make sure it doesn't smell like stale beer or have one of those in-room air conditioners that rattles like a loose rivet in a washing machine. I ask the hotel staff to let me check out a room, saying I have relatives or business associates coming to town and I want to recommend a nice place.

Finally, give her an out if she doesn't want to.

Spring it on her enough in advance so she can back out. You two might have fantasized about this endlessly, in and out of the bedroom, yet maybe she's been playing along in bed in YOUR fantasy just to make you happy. Some of the things C. and I are doing involve scenarios I find hot (she just wants to get off). Unless Jen is fully on-board with the idea, she might go white at the thought of fucking a stranger. Some people never reach the point of making the leap from an imaginary lover to a real person. Be gracious if she turns down your wonderful gift. Unless she's a total bitch-loser, she'll have to see all the work you did as a real profession of your love. And take "no" with good humor. You'll likely get the fuck of your life later for the thoughtful gesture.

by Tom Paine

3 comments:

vsk witness said...

I read over this and salute it. I thinking comfort and flexibility are the key to getting things to move forward. And alcohol. Seriously, one problem is that if you are borrowing a buddy for the work he may have some subterrean issues that will need massaging. Men are complicated creatures, and some carry huge homophobic kinks in their man plumbing. If he freaks out seeing your dick when your taking a piss, you can bet he won't really enjoy you watching him fuck your wife. So pick a dark venue at least!

Anonymous said...

We are a couuple that have been together twenty-five years and from the start we've really enjoyed MFM. Though most of what is said in the article is very true for us, we have found over the years that some male friends made for great long-term lovers. Our first mfm began only two weeks after we met, and it was with one of his married friends. They got me together the first time at a remote cabin. They were quite forward and fun. Our fun lasted over ten years, till he moved many states away, and we saw each other occasionally after that. Years later there was another married friend of his, that when nobody was looking, couldn't keep his eyes off me. He was always really nice to me, always complimentary, and never came on, but I could see his hard-on, and I knew exactly what was on his mind. I confided in my man, who talked with his friend. Then, when the three of us were alone, and I was standing acoss a large oak table from my man, he approached me from behind, surprising me and pinning me to the table, and as my man held my wrists, our friend began working his hands around me, and I began one of the most delicious chapters of my life. Since then, we've all been together an average of once every other week for a many years, but that "once" is a muti-orgasmic fuck-fest each time beyond compare. My absolute favorite, and happens most every time, is when I get simultaneously wildly fucked in my pussy by both my cocks. We truly love this man, wish him nothing but pleasure. Everyone is ultra-dicrete, and would never say or do anything to hurt any of us or anyone else. But we love it when we get alone and our friends cock comes out and he rapes me, where ever we may be. We all know that just starts our fun, 'cause by the time one guy cums, he's made the other horny, and it keeps on going till we're exhausted, in this big heap smilin'. Now our special male friends have stayed real friends, but before you invite them into your bed, you have to know who they are, how they think, and how they move (for me, especially how they move) and if they'd be truly discrete. So think before choosing a friend as a lover, because when you choose a friend, you're committing to a very. very long (perhaps life-long) relationship. So think clearly before you get into a mfm with a male friend, but I'll guarantee you, it's worked very well for us! I love being a couple with a friend I know is going to fuck me. Its even more exciting in a group where nobody knows except your men, and you know they're thinking about what they're going to do to you when they get you alone. Sometimes, often, it gives me shivers of delight!

Anonymous said...

Wow, every detail of "anonymous"'s posting is exactly correct...from the time we've been together, the description and time of the guys, and even me holding her wrists across the large oak table the first time her current lover got her! I'll bet anything my wife wrote that, and I'll second it to the word. "Friends" have worked well for us. Her other lover is my good friend, we're totally open with each other, and he really does rape her. Its a friendly but totally real rape, (if you can rape the willing). Whenever he wants it, and I'm somewhere around, he just corners her, takes his cock out, pulls the clothes off her he wants off, and totally rapes her. There is no question of "would you like to"; he rapes her. She loves it, and so do I. He's raped her hundreds of times over the years ... in the pantry, the bathrooms, the walk in closets, the garage, in the hot tub, on the bed while I'm taking a bath, in the woods ... yeah. It's totally amazing and an unbelievable turn-on. I love to watch him rape her, or hear her while he's getting it and then go and find them. We also have times where we all just decide to go to bed too. We have her together too. We've gotten more and more forward over the years, and for the past three years have enjoyed two in one hole, and anything else we want with her. There are no jealousy issues, and we all know it. We're "very" close friends. I hope you get to enjoy something like this too. It's incredibly hot, and makes me love her more and more.