Friday, August 17, 2007

When trust faltered…

So where did it all really between with us? I am not really sure. Before the actuality there were many discussions. He signed up with an online service for meeting people. It was initially done without my knowledge, but then we discussed it. I did not want a stranger. He wanted this so much that he proposed a friend that he knew I liked. My friend was single and not dating anyone.

So I started to flirt with him. Eventually meeting him in a parking lot late at night. We kissed and my husband wanted to know what was going on between us. Perhaps in time he would have said yes, but initially he said no. What happened to him really doesn't matter. My husband started the roller coaster of jealousy and worry. He wasn't really prepared to wait for me to seduce my friend into a threesome. Which I think was a possibility. He was afraid I might have an affair with him. I didn't. He always knew when I saw him. He didn't understand my friendship with him, and yes it became much deeper… I told him everything.

His trust in me started to falter. One night he was legitimately looking for something on my computer and started to look in my email. He found my emotions and truth to a friend from months before. Things he didn't understand, but that were explained in time. It was the lack of trust that was the hardest. We both had to heal from that as well. To keep minor and small details open to each other. We spent hours talking. Always.

If you can't handle talking for hours and the unexpected roller coaster of getting what you ask for and more… Be careful.

By Nightstar


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