Sunday, June 29, 2008

It is all about you!

Yesterday, I learned the truth.

It is all about you.

Today, I further concluded that I am only your unpaid whore.
We had an affair that has lasted 2 years and included my pussy and my brain at your beck and call.

Part of having an affair with another married person is that you have to accept the limitations of the game. Holidays and personal special days do require some creative present giving so as not to offend or alert the significant others. Separation on special days is part of the game. But when one partner works around the limitations to the others pleasure there is a reciprocity expectation. Or so I thought. However, I thought wrong.

Considering the desperate phone calls I have taken in the middle the night. The nights I have held you as your real world collapsed. How I helped you revive your business. The sacrifices I made and the gifts that I have given over the past two years. Apparently, it was too much to expect you to show me some attention yesterday.

I am guilty. I had a selfish thought. You knew this day was coming. You made promises months ago about this day. You set up expectations. You loved all the special surprises I gave you on your day. You promised that my day would be a special treat.

However, the day came and went in silence. No presents, no phone calls, no text messages, no ecards, or real cards. At least none were received from you. Some other men in my life did remember. They made me feel special and will be rewarded for their attention. But they had not been the focus of two years of my attention and concern. I do not fuck them except when I feel like it and you were always given priority.

Today, as I stare at my cell phone I am angry, hurt and yet puzzled? The text message from you. " I'm horny Let's fuck" and a date, time, place a week from now. You expect me to say yes and be there with my legs spread and my pussy wet. You know I will make an excuse to hubby to shop and stay overnight in that distant town. You did not apologize or in any way refer to the day you missed. So here is my answer. " No, I will not be there to fuck you. Your horniness is no longer my concern."

A tear drops as I hit the enter button. But I know it is for the best. Time to suck it up. The tough part about the choice to end our affair is I cannot cry about it to friends or get the support of family. To the outside world nothing can change but inside the emotions swirl. For at least a little while today I can pretend that the affair was really all about me and my desires. I can tell myself that I enjoyed all the orgasms and the sexual trysts we pulled off behind our spouses back. All the while knowing in my heart it really has been about you and my allowing you to use me.

Good bye.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...


i'm new to the world of blogs; this is one i shall definitely be returning to. thanks for sharing.